Self Empowered Woman

One surefire way to maintain a low level of self-esteem is to continue to associate with toxic people. So what are toxic people? They are the people that are poison to our lives and our environment. They drain us of our energy, our time, our money, and they can also play havoc with our minds. Toxic people can literally make you physically or mentally ill.

Take a good look at the people around you: family, friends, bosses, co-workers, and anyone else who you interact with everyday. Do you find the people in your life encouraging, supportive, and uplifting, or are they a drain? How do you feel when you’re around the people in your life? If certain people make you feel bad, unattractive, or depressed, they are toxic to you.

You see, sometimes we feel bad and suffer from low self-esteem because we have surrounded ourselves with people who, consciously or unconsciously, have found a way to make us feel bad about ourselves. I believe that the most blatant example of this is a relationship with domestic violence. A woman or man most likely enters an abusive relationship because they have already had some issues with their self-esteem. However, once in the relationship, they must deal with someone who knows all the right psychological buttons to push in order to make them feel continuously bad about themselves.

In these relationships, it gets to the point where the victim starts to feel that being physically and mentally abused is somehow acceptable or deserved. They can even believe that it is often their own fault that the abuse takes place. Therefore, they stay in a relationship where they are abused, and their self-worth continues to dwindle.

More of us than would like to admit are in abusive relationships. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical or overt. Anybody who makes you feel lesser, unhappy about who you are, or unworthy is not someone you should entertain in your circle of friends.

Take a long hard look at the people who you associate with everyday. Many times, our relatives are the ones who make us feel bad and rob us of our energy and feelings of self-worth. So, step back and really look at the people in your life. Instead of asking, “what is the matter with me?” you need to ask, “who is the matter with me?”

Try to associate with people who are going to make you feel good about yourself; people who are empowering and are really on your side are not going to make you feel bad about yourself. They want you to feel good. Try to hang out with people who emit positivity. If you don’t have anyone who makes you feel good right now, then gradually draw yourself away from the people who are making you feel bad and enjoy some alone time while you find techniques, tools, classes, and ways of thinking that will improve your self-esteem.

As you start to feel better about yourself, you’re going to naturally attract people who feel better about themselves; it’s a win-win situation. You will also learn that you - and only you - hold the key to how you feel about yourself.

When trying to figure out why you may have low self-esteem, be sure to take a close look at the people in your life.

Wambui Bahati “Miss Inspiration” is a professional speaker and entertainer. She writes and speaks about building high self-esteem and about self-empowerment. Visit her Self-Esteem Celebration Blog at: http://www.self-esteem-today.blogspot.com/

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Gerry_Restrivera]Gerry Restrivera

Anxiety is a common emotion like happiness, sadness and anger, however when anxiety becomes uncontrollable or excessive, it becomes a problem or disorder. Anxiety becomes uncomfortable when coupled with increased heart beat, increased blood pressure, too much fear and panic. Anxiety disorder is a mental state that can interfere with your daily life and very disabling. You have to know anxiety panic attack relief to survive attacks and learn how to manage your anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety may be experienced with major changes in your life like loss or death of someone you love, divorce or broken relationships and too much stress at work or school.

Before learning anxiety panic attack relief, you must learn how to recognize anxiety attacks symptoms. Common symptoms of anxiety attacks are chest pain, difficulty breathing or shortness of breath, uncontrollable sweating, increased heart rate, trembling, excessive fear or feeling of going crazy, choking sensation and dizziness. Imagine feeling all of these things and if you cannot learn about anxiety panic attack relief, these symptoms are very disabling and can interfere with your daily life.

The first step to learn anxiety panic attack relief is to believe that you have the ability to take control. Anxiety disorder is not a disease it’s a state of mind that can be controlled. The body responds to the messages sent to it by your mind, even if the situation is totally safe but your mind interprets it as unsafe, your body will respond to what you think. The first step in anxiety panic attack relief is changing the way you think. During anxiety attacks, tell to yourself “I will be alright, this cannot harm me and I will feel better.” Your mind and the way you think can control your anxiety physical symptoms. Changing your negative thoughts to positive thoughts will decrease and eliminate your physical symptoms.

Breathing exercises is another anxiety panic attack relief that you can do. During anxiety attacks you experience hyperventilation or you are breathing faster causing dizziness, shortness of breath and other anxiety disorder symptoms. By changing the way you breathe during attacks you can lessen your symptoms. Deep and slow breathing will help you to feel more relax and calm. Take a deep breathe through your nose, hold it for 3 seconds and exhale slowly.

While it is important to know anxiety panic attack relief during attacks it is best to consult the experts to cure your anxiety disorder. Anxiety panic attack relief is just an immediate relief to lessen or eliminate your symptoms temporarily. It is best to find remedy and cure for your anxiety disorder and get rid of your symptoms permanently.

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Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Anxiety Panic Attack Relief: Learn How to Manage Anxiety Panic Attack.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerry_Restrivera http://EzineArticles.com/?Anxiety-Panic-Attack-Relief—Learn-How-to-Manage-Anxiety-Panic-Attack&id=480710

How do you react if your spouse announces “I want a divorce” or something similar? With shock? Surprise? Outrage?

If these are your reactions, you’ve got plenty of company. Thousands of spouses each year have this same experience. Many surprised partners in this situation begin to grill their unhappy mate with questions like “What in the #%& do you mean you want a divorce? After all I’ve done for you!”

Unfortunately, this approach doesn’t make the dissatisfied spouse change her (or his) mind. If anything, it makes them dig in their heels.

The key to keeping your marriage begins with a simple but misunderstood word: Acceptance.

What is acceptance? It means respecting and accepting your spouse’s point of view, even when you don’t fully understand it.

To help you understand how acceptance is important in stopping your divorce, let me share a story with you.

There was a tennis player on a college team whose coach had told her that her serve needed practice. But she refused to accept and act on the coach’s feedback. Again, her coach implored her to work on her technique after she spiraled into a losing streak.

Clearly, her career on the court would be short-lived unless she took her coach’s advice to heart. Finally after losing another match to an archrival in a tournament, the coach issued an ultimatum. The player would either have to do what it took to improve or leave the team.

This athlete finally came to accept what her problem was – poor technique on her serves. Before that, she’d been unwilling to do the necessary work to enhance her performance. But once she had accepted the situation as it was, she was able to move forward and improve her game.

A marriage is much the same way. Sometimes one partner may ignore or minimize the feedback from the other for a time. This time may often stretch into years. And the frustration builds like pressure in a pressure cooker. Until finally a limit is passed and an ultimatum is issued. The offending spouse must change behavior or else the frustrated partner will leave the marriage.

At this point, a history of dissatisfaction has built up on the side of the spouse threatening to leave. Whether the surprised partner considers the reasons given to be valid or not doesn’t alter the fact that the unhappiness exists.

The first thing you must do is accept the situation as a given. Acknowledge your spouse’s unhappiness. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with your mate’s reasons. Nor does it necessarily mean accepting your partner at her word if she says that she’s leaving.

It does mean that you need to accept the fact that your spouse is unhappy and has been unhappy for some time. If you can buy this description as fitting your situation, you’ve just made a positive step forward. Because you have to understand the dynamics of your present relationship before you can improve it.

It means that emotional communication between you and your spouse has been faulty and she (or he) believes that you haven’t been meeting some of her basic needs. It means you need to accept your spouse’s discontent if you want to positively influence the disastrous turn your marriage is taking.

Don’t worry if you disagree with the reasons she gives you for being unhappy.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of arguing or telling her she’s wrong. Why? Because her perception is her reality and is the basis for her feelings and the decisions she makes.

So your first job is to understand and accept your spouse’s perception of your relationship. Only then can you do something constructive to save your marriage.

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.

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